Heart-candy messages for the top seven Sports Bromances on Valentine’s Day

Posted: February 14, 2014 in General
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

800px-Necco-Candy-SweetHeartsBy W.G. Ramirez

With Valentine’s Day upon us, I thought we’d take a look at some of Sports Bromances, and deliver one of those heart-shaped Valentine’s Day candies that have been around longer than any of us. You know the ones, with the one- or two-word messages on them, right?

Here are the top 7 Sports Bromances for this Valentine’s Day 2014.

No. 7 NICK SABAN and BRET BIELEMA

Isn’t this a quaint little arrangement that has nuzzled up to the NCAA, quite possibly looking for couples counseling because the rest of the family isn’t playing nice. In a nutshell, defensive coaches don’t like offensive coaches’ hurry up offense and the NCAA Football Rules Committee has proposed a rule that prevents offenses from snapping the ball within the first 10 seconds after the 40-second play clock begins, except in the last two minutes of each half. This gives defensive units the chance to substitute during that 10-second window even if the offense doesn’t.

CANDY MESSAGE: Play Now

No. 6 CARMELO ANTHONY and KOBE BRYANT

The future NBA Hall of Famers are close friends. Last month Bryant said he will not actively recruit the Knicks forward to join the Los Angeles Lakers as a free agent this summer, but would offer advice. Melo isn’t discussing free agency right now, the Knicks are reportedly looking to deal him before the deadline and the Lakers have slowed their roll on signing him. Uhh, Kobe, I know it’s been awhile since we spoke – 18-1/2 years to be exact – but my suggestion is to get some cuddle time in before Melo heads to Spain for the FIBA Basketball World Cup and get that boy some Kobe 9s in purple and gold.

CANDY MESSAGE: High Five

No. 5 JERRY JONES and JASON GARRETT

I see this as a classic ‘why can’t you love me for who I am’ relationship, as the Dallas Cowboys owner envisioned young Jason Garrett to be the organization’s next Tom Landry. But the Pokes have missed the playoffs the last four years and come up short the last three seasons with losses in the final week of the season, Garrett could be headed to the Friend Zone. Forget the Bromance in this one, can anyone else hear Theo Huxtable from the pilot episode of The Cosby Show, telling Cliff: “Maybe I was born to be a regular person … maybe you can just accept who I am and love me anyway.” And then Cliff arising from his chair and saying: “Theo, that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.” Come to think of it, the Huxtables may do a better job running the Cowboys; I mean they did do all those lip sync routines on the staircase.

CANDY MESSAGE: Friend Me

No. 4 RICHIE INCOGNITO and JONATHAN MARTIN

I swear these two have more drama than most of my son’s high-school friends, and believe me, there are some who put the ‘draw’ in drama. Incognito’s latest sound-off on Twitter was epic, followed with hashtags #betrayed and #railroaded. This roller coaster relationship really is better than Kim and Kanye. It wasn’t too long ago Incognito was tweeting and saying the two were best friends, and he didn’t realize he was hurting his liddo lineman buddy. Now he’s dejected because he’s apparently been cut off, and tweeted “The truth is going to bury you and your entire ‘camp’.” It’s like listening to those who start the day tweeting: “He/She is so perfect” and by the end of the day tweet: “I’m so done, so over this.”

CANDY MESSAGE: “Text Me”

No. 3 MICHAEL CRABTREE and RICHARD SHERMAN

“I’m the best corner in the game, when you try me with a sorry receiver like Crabtree, that’s the result you gonna get…” We’ve all seen the infamous interview with Fox Sports’ Erin Andrews, right? But nearly four weeks later – and two weeks after Sherman has been crowned a Super Bowl champ, it appears the bad blood between the Seahawks’ cornerback and San Francisco wideout has simmered down. In fact Sherman told late-night talk show host Jimmy Kimmel he’d be open to a couples massage. Oh my, I’m feeling an off-season Bromance blooming.

CANDY MESSAGE: “Jump 4 Me”

No. 2 MIKE GREENBERG and MIKE GOLIC

They’ve become a staple mark for anyone just waking up on the east coast or idiots like me who get up at 3 a.m. daily. “Mike and Mike in the Morning” for four hours can be entertaining, with the guests who frequent the show, like comedian Frank Caliendo, former NFL coach and ESPN analyst Herm Edwards and Hall of Fame receiver and ESPN analyst Cris Carter. At times, their softball questions in certain interviews allow guests off the hook and Greenie’s over explanation of how he was never an athlete gets redundant and annoying, but it’s decent shop talk and entertaining. The best of times, no doubt though, is when Golic picks on Greenie and/or wins an argument. In fact, they just might be a nicer version of Incognito and Martin, and just haven’t figured it out yet. Over 15 years, Golic is still politely – for the most part – hazing his little buddy. They’re the Skipper and Gilligan.

CANDY MESSAGE: “Sweet Talk”

No. 1 SKIP BAYLESS and STEPHEN A. SMITH

These two mouths that roar every day on national television have become Sports America’s darlings. During Super Bowl week, the live audience sung – ahem, attempted to  – Wale’s theme song. ESPN’s First Take has become Good Morning America for sports enthusiasts, and Bayless and Smith are the main reasons. Their relationship is as strong as they come, as they’ve grown into respected colleagues, though Bayless has been in the game much longer than any of us sports journalists. Their continued arguments over the same people – LeBron James, Kevin Durant, Aaron Rodgers, Tom Brady, Floyd Mayweather, Manny Pacquiao – at times, has them sounding like parents favoring one or the other. It’s what the people like, though, so this is most certainly a Bromance good for sports. Now if we could only get Ernestine to make a cameo.

CANDY MESSAGE: Soul Mate

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